Can't stop
by selbel143
Summary: Trina is trying to work things out, just she takes the anger, sadness, out on herself. One day it might end up hurting her, or even killing her. Her secrets will start to unravel, and her family will quickly find out her secrets, but will it be to late? Warning this story has. Cutting, and Anorexia. Don't like don't read. Nothing like my usual stories!
1. Chapter 1

**Trina's POV**

Well, here I am again. Sitting on the floor in my bathroom, I promised myself last time would be the last. I just can't seem to stop; it helps me with every single fucking thing that has happened to me.

Why can't I be as gorgeous as my baby sister? Why do I have to care about what other people think about me? Everyone thinks I don't care when they say hurtful things about me. Things like "No one likes you." Or "You're not talented" I know I might not be as talented as some others. It hurts. I walk off every time, and I always end up here.

I just can't stop once or twice my whole arms, legs, stomach are cover in cuts. I even have words carved into my body. Things just take me over the top. I don't like to talk about my problems so I keep them bottled up inside. I know I need help, I just don't want it.

I press the razor to my left wrist right where the vain is. I have done this multiple times, I take a deep breath, and with all my stretch I slowly drag the razor over my wrist. Blood starts to leak out from the open cut, I stop crying just for a few seconds, watching the blood run down my arm, and hit the floor. Watching the blood run down mt arm makes me feel better. It makes all the problems go away just for a few minutes. I sit there staring at the bathroom wall, not moving. I know what is going too happened next. Like all the other times before. "Why am I still here?" I whisper to myself.

I look down at the razor in my hand, then to my arm. The blood had stopped and dried. I feel so stupid why did I do this to myself? No one is ever going to want someone like me. Someone who is more than likely going to have scars for the rest of their lives. The anger inside me boils overs, I can't stop. It's like I'm another person. I cut myself over and over again, sometimes even takes chunks of skin off. The anger melts away and I'm left with just sadness. I stand up, and look at myself in the mirror.

I see this monster. My arms have become raw and red, my shirt is rolled up to my elbows, my eyes are red and puffy. I look at my arms in the mirror. So many old scars you can still see, some still trying to heal and other that have healed just darker lines on my arms. I lift up my shirt, and turn sideways to the mirror. Why am I so fat? My sister can eat whatever she wants and stay just as skinny. The jealousy inside me makes my whole body hurt. I know if my family found out it would devastate them to no end, they'd be disappointed in me.

I poke my stomach. "You're too fat to even eat anything anymore. Do you know how many calories you had today?" I think, and count. "127 calories. No wonder you are so fat." I mentally scold myself. I use to make myself throw up, still do sometimes. Only if I have over 400 calories. "I guess I won't be eating lunch and dinner today."

There is a knock at the door. "Trina are you okay? You've been in there a long time." I frown when I hear Tori's voice from the other side of the door, and my anger comes back. "Just leave me the fuck alone!" I yell, Tori sighs, and I hear footsteps walking away. I grab my phone and turn it on. The time reads 7:14 AM. I quickly wash off the dried blood as gently as I could. The stung a little but nothing to unbearable, I change into a new long sleeved shirt, redo my makeup, put eye drops in. I'm ready to go. Just like any other day.

**Here it is. Don't worry I think this is the only story I will do that is not age play. Also this is not the other story I was talking about. Please reivew please. It would mean alot to me. I will be updating my stories soon. I hope. My parents found out about the age play stuff so like I don't have my computer or laptop. The onlt reason I am having this up is because my parents are at work and I found out what the new passowrd is for the computer. Anyway again update!**

**xoxo**

**Selbel143**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews! I love you all. Well, anyway here is the new chapter for can't stop. Hope you like. I want to give a shout out to MissMillie2010 and Akumagirl92 and KayaS. I love you guy and you're amazing are words just can not explain how happy I feel when I talk to you. Okay, back to the story I hope you enjoy!**

**Trina's POV**

I'm at school and in my classroom with two minutes to spare. The sleeves on my shirt have started to rub on my cuts.

I'm used to the burn and pain of the cuts though, so I just ignore it. I sit through another boring class, then another one, and another. It was just like this the entire day.

On my way to my car, my boyfriend Zach is standing there against the side of my car. I sigh not in the mood to deal with him.

We have been dating for almost two years now.

"Hey babe."

I smile at him, and he does the same, but it's not that nice, sweet, loving smile you would expect from a boyfriend, it was more of that. _I hate you right now but I'm going to smile._ I mentally sigh knowing what's going to happen tonight. I've done something to displease him.

"Get in the car, we're going back to your place." I get into my car, and give him the keys. "Here" Zach takes the keys from me and drives home.

* * *

"I said to count! You fucking bitch! I hate you, you should just go to hell were you belong."

I feel a small whimper escape my lips

"f-fiftly two."

I whisper, Zach brings his arm back and in a matter of seconds. The hot, burning, aching pain ignited in my back again. The whip has gone around my torso, and I see the angry red marks that are left.

"fifty-three"

I squeak. The last two are always the worst.

Zach unties me from the bedpost, and throws my shirt and bra at me.

"Change into this"

I nod and go into the bathroom.

I look in the mirror, what I see red, angry, burning marks on my stomach. I lightly run my finger tips along then, feeling the welts. My gaze turns over to my wrist and the scars are still there.

I sink down the cold floor and let myself cry. _Why had I done this to myself. My whole body hurts. I just want to die._

The scars around my wrists are hurting more then ever, I quickly get out my razor. It helps.

I slowly pull the razor on my wrist. I love watching the blood run down my arm. Again and again the razor is dragged across my arm.

The cuts from earlier today have open up now, they've gotten deeper now and blood is coming. I stop crying just for a little while to watch the blood, i don't really know why the blood makes me stop crying but it does.

I stop with the cuts on my arms, I slowly drag the razor up my arm, on the inside of my collarbone, circling around one of my breasts, and end the cut near the bruise on my ribcage. A long cut running the whole way.

I stand up, grab a towel off the bathroom door. I run water over it and dab it on the cuts. I hiss in pain when I either press to hard or if a string of the towel gets stuck in one of the cuts.

There's a knock at the door. "I'm leaving bitch, see you at school." That was all he said before I heard the click of his boots in the hallway and the door closing.

I sigh, and put my bra and shirt on being care not to move to quickly.

I look at my phone in that was in my jean pocket.

"Shit"

Tori and my parents are going to be home soon. I put some eye drops in and fix my hair, blow my nose, and take in a deep breath.

* * *

"So Trina, how was your day?"

My father asks. I know he doesn't really care.

"It was fine."

I roll my eyes at my father. I try to move my fork up to my mouth but makes a painful facial expression. You would think with all the cuts from the years would make the pain go away. It doesn't

"Trina are you okay?"

My mother asks me, I look up Tori and she are looking at me with a concerned look.

"Yea, I'm fine. Just I have a slight headache."

The rest of the dinner meal was silent.

"Trina it's your turn to do the dishes tonight."

I sigh,it's not like I don't like to do it. I just have a higher risk of someone seeing my cuts, and every movement I make hurts. I nod, and clear the plates off the table carefully.

I roll up my sleeves and turn the water on. I close my eyes and start to wash the dishes.

"Hey Trina?"

Tori walks into the kitchen and I quickly yank my sleeves down.

"Yea Tor?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I nod and look at her confused.

"Yea, why do you ask?"

Tori looks at me in the eyes, and I'm sure she knows that I'm lying.

"It's just that you seem to be acting different. That's all. If you ever need to talk, I'm always here."

I smile at her.

"Thanks little sis."

Tori gives me a smile and leaves the room. I let out a sigh of relief and continue the clean the dishes. That's when I start to hear Tori sing. I feel a stab of jealously go through my body. The grab on the kitchen towel tightens.

I take a few deep breaths knowing that if I don't stop the feeling inside me that I'm going to end up with even worst cuts then I already have.

I take a few sleeping pills and call it a night. I go up to my room, change into some pajamas. I put my phone in to charge. Right before I feel myself start to go asleep my phone righs. Telling me I haave a new text message.

I groan and turn over, grab my phone and read the text. It read.

'Get up bitch, you better be ready to go when I come get you in 15.'

I gulp. This is going to end bad, I just know it...

**Okay, here you guys go. I hope you like it. I love all the reviews I got. Thank you guys! I really hope you like this one. I wasn't going to update this story now but I just like started crying. This story actually helps to vent my feelings. So again review! It means the world to me. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**xoxo**

**Selbel143**


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